Courage & Control

As of 3 pm today, 8-9-10, our two embryos survived the thaw!!!!!!

I spent the day finding things to keep me busy so the time would pass quickly while I waited with anticipation & fear for the 1st of 2, major phone calls. I think if I had gotten different news I would have felt like we didn't really get to try one last time. I'm hoping our embies continue to grow and stay healthy. Tomorrow we will get the report before the transfer of the final status of the embryos and then we get to see them on the big screen. We are able to catch a glimpse of the very beginning of life and take a picture to remember that forever.

The past several days have brought me peace in my mind and heart. I realize the finality of this process. This will be the very last time ever to try to become pregnant. Right now I've accepted that for what it is, but I might have different feelings on the 23rd if the beta comes back negative. I don't see myself attempting infertility procedures again in the future, but I'm afraid my heart won't heal as quickly if this last try does indeed fail. But I'm not thinking like that right now...

I'm well aware of the chances of this working, but I'm not giving up just yet. Last night I posted a status on facebook asking for good thoughts and prayers and the response was overwhelming. The support was palpable. I hope with so many people praying for us, that we are successful. I pray those images on the screen are the beginning of our future.