Pressure!!!

Yesterday, I looked into one of the agencies the adoption book listed for our state. On their website, it had a place to request an informational packet. I typed in my information and received an email from the office in our state. They want us to fill out a preliminary application, including a picture and a nonrefundable $100 application fee, and send it in within 30 days. Some of the questions are very personal to say the least. In order to proceed with this agency, we must belong to and be an active member of a church. So we're looking for another agency.

It's not that we aren't spiritual people, but we don't belong to a church. We were both raised in a church and were brought up with strong moral values. As adults, we haven chosen to live good, respectable lives while being honest and kind people. In my opinion, a church is a business, like any store, with the goal of making money. I've know some people who claim to be very religious and in reality are opposite of what they claim. Going to church doesn't make you a good person; one's actions do. My church attendance and amount of offerings should not be a deciding factor on whether I can be a good parent. Ever...

So we've gone back to looking in the neighboring state. The main agency there is only licensed to do the home study in that state. On their website under FAQs, one question asks if the agency is able to provide adoption services to out-of-state residents. The response does not answer my question. A phone call to them will be coming tomorrow. If they are able to assist us, we will be going to an informational meeting in a couple weeks. And we're still looking into adoption attorneys, which at this point, seems like a simpler choice.

To add to the pressure of making a decision, our potential surrogate has been asked to help another couple and needs to know very soon whether we want to use her. We planned to transfer the final two embryos to her at some point, but we wanted to get the adoption process underway and put our resources towards that first. I will be calling my OBGYN tomorrow to see about the surrogate. So many decisions!!!

Hoping tomorrow will bring much needed answers and clarification...