Let's try this again

The weekend was great, but very busy at the same time. Although I had plenty to do from the moment we arrived, that still didn't stop my mind from wandering. After all the wedding festivities were over, we spent the remainder of our trip at Tech. With all the events and the family around, I still couldn't keep myself from wondering and thinking "what if?" Ugh...

By Sunday morning I had a noticeable "bump" directly under my belly button. No matter how much I sucked it in or if I laid flat, it was there. We headed to the river a few hours later and it was even more evident with a mere bikini on. Maybe it's just our wishful thinking, but I don't want to imagine getting the same phone call as last time. At the same time, I'm expecting to hear the same results because no matter how perfect everything is, it has always failed in the past. I want to scream just thinking about the Drs. telling us "there's nothing wrong, it SHOULD HAVE WORKED."

But I digress. Tomorrow I'll have my second beta and await the phone call that will change my life no matter the outcome. I would think at this point, I would be immune to finding out it failed again. Unfortunately, I'm still human and it hurts worse every time. If it doesn't work, then I really don't know what we'll do next. We haven't gotten to that point yet...

Praying for our miracle...