Break time is almost over

After the failed FET in August, we decided we wanted step back from everything and be able to enjoy our anniversary, birthdays and the holidays. We need to preserve our sanity. It's been nice to enjoy each other and not be stressed about infertility. We figured we would give the IUI another try in December and that's only a few weeks away. Once my next cycle begins I'll start taking my temperatures and ovulations tests so we can prepare for the IUI.

I have mixed emotions about it all. After all this time, I'm not excited about doing the IUI. Instead, I feel worried and hopeless. I guess since I've had so much time to think about the past 4 years of dealing with infertility, I've come to the point where I picture my life without children. Knowing that adoption isn't in the near future and every procedure has failed, I'm trying to accept a life without children. When I mentioned this to my psychiatrist, he encouraged me to think that way and think about other things I could do with my life. I took offense to that and realized I wouldn't ever be truly happy or have a fulfilled life without children. I'm not sure what to think.

Hoping we get ourselves ready for what's to come sooner than later! We need a sign that we should proceed. Crossing our fingers we get our answer!